NDETI CLASSIC BLOG

WIFE. ...Honey plz lets come and help me in the garden to clean these flowers?? MME .......Are you mad ,do I look like a gardener? WIFE .....Ok sory babie,...but sweetheart please go and fix that door to the bathroom,Junior broke it last night?? MME .....I hate your nosense requests,,do I look like a Carpenter?? .. At night MME came back from town and found that the garden is clean and the door if fixed well..he was surprised and decided to ask his wife.. .. MME .....Honey I can see the garden is clean and the Door is well fixed,who fixed the door for you?? WIFE. ....Its our neighbour ofcourse.. MME .....Woow thats great,,did he fixed it for you free of charge? WIFE ........NO he gave me two options to choose,,,He said I must give him BREAD OR SE..X.. MME .....I hope you gave him BREAD?? WIFE ....What???....Do I look like BAKERY???

Kumekuwa na imani potofu kwa wanawake kwamba hawawezi kumwambia ukweli mwanaume anampenda kwanza mpaka mwanaume aanze lakini ukweli usiopingika ni kwamba wao pia hupendi na mara nyingi wao wakianza kupenda hupenda kweli kufikia stage hata ya kuhisi kuumwa. Hizi ni dalili za mwanamke anaekupenda ila anagoma kukwambia tu. 1. KUKUTEGA ILIKUJUA THAMANI YAKE KWAKO Hufanya mambo ambayo yatamfanya kuona kama unampenda na kumthamini au la mfano wa mambo hayo ni kama kujifanya anaumwa na kauangalia respond yako kwake ni kiasi gani unamjali na kiasi gani utahangaika kwa ajili yake. 2.HUWA ANAPENDA KUKUGUSA SEHEMU YAKO YA MWILI. Haoni aibu kugusa sehemu ya mwili wako. Msichana anayependa haoni aibu kukushika mkono ama kukutomasa au hata kukumbatia.Kwa kufanya hivyo hujua kuwa kwa asilimia kubwa hisia za kushikana kwenu kutamrahishishia kazi ya kuwa na wewe. 3. KUPENDA KUCHEKA TENA MUDA MWINGINE KWA NGUVU Kucheka kwa nguvu hata kwa kitu kisicho chekesha endapo ...

Wema Sepetu afunguka kuhusu tuhuma za kutoka na Mkongo Man apocalypse "Sijawahi na sitowahi kuwa na mwanaume Mcongo wa aina yoyote ile... Sasa nashangaa watu wameona mimi ndo daraja la kuwapa umaarufu... Im Tired... Huyo apocalypse sijui kitu gani aint my man... I only know him as a friend... So please guys.... Niacheni kidogo tafadhal... Alam-siq...!!! And ontop of all dat I think u all know me by now nikiwa na mtu sijivungi kumtangaza maana huwa I live to please my heart... Mwanaume wangu nadhani anajulikana... Sasa endeleeni kumpa huyo baba attention sababu yeye nako naona kashaona ni kamchezo kakupatia followers... Na nyie mnampa airtime ya kutosha.... So anaendelea... Ananiudhi na mimi kiukweli hadi napata hasira... But nakaa tu kimya... This is too much now..." Wema Sepetu

Hebu tutizame mambo kadhaa yanayomtofautisha mwanamume na mvulana kwa faida ya jamii yetu. Ushauri kwa wanaume. Dear men, 1. Kuwa na wanawake wengi hakukufanyi uwe mwanaume halisi, bali inakufanya uwe mvulana na kuna tofauti kubwa kati ya mwanaume na mvulana. 2. Mwanaume halisi anae mwanamke wake mmoja tu katika maisha yake. Hata ikitokea anao wengine ni wake wa ndoa na heshima yake kwa mwanamke wake haitaisha. 3. Kuwa vizuri kitandani hakukufanyi uwe mwanaume halisi. Mwanaume halisi ni yule ambae kamwe hakimbii majukumu yake. 4. Haikuhitaji kuvaa mlegezo na kutembea mabarabarani ukidhani utawavutia wanawake. Ukweli ni kwamba wavulana wadogo ndio huvaa mlegezo na wasichana wadogo wasiojitambua ndio hupenda wavaa milegezo. 5. Usiwatumie wanawake na kuwaacha. Kumbuka sheria ya "karma" what goes around must come back around. 6. Kama hutaki kumfanya awe mkeo, usimpe mimba au usimtongoze kabisa. 7. Usitii kichwa chako kidogo cha huko chini ki...

Majina ya wanaume na Sifa zao katika mahusiano yao na mapenzi 1. Dennis-mapenzi ya tamthiliya 2. Nicolas-muongo 3. Albert-domo zege ila mjanja mjanja 4. Mathias-anapenda mwanamke kwa muda mrefu 5. Joseph/Josephat-kicheche 6. Jeryson-anapenda mademu ila wanawake wanamkataa 7. Shadrack-anapenda sifa kwa mademu 8. Richard-ana wapenzi wengi ila msiri 9. Mathew-anapendwa na wanawake ila domo zege 10. Thomas-anapendwa na mademu ila hajatulia 11. Prosper-hajui habari za mapenzi 12. Fidelis-mtaalam wa kutongozea mademu wenzie(kuwadi) 13. Peter-maneno mengi ila vitendo sifuri 14. Christopher-wanapenda kutongoza hovyo ingawaje wana mpenzi mwaminifu 15. Elvis-Handsome ila hapendwi na mademu 16. Edward/Eddy -serious sana kwenye mapenzi 17. Mussa-mwepesi kutongoza na mwepesi kuwacha 18. Ally-wasiri sana kwenye mapenzi 19. Mohammed-anapenda watu waliomzidi umri 20. Nickson-wakiingia kwenye mapenzi wanatendwa vibaya 21.Frederick-anapenda sifa kwa wanaw...

1. Mama mwenye mtoto/watoto aliyeachika akiwa kwenye ndoa 2. Mwanamke aliyeachika ndani ya ndoa 3. Mwanamke yupo karibu mitandao yote ya kijamii, hakuna habari ya kimbea yeye anapitwa (Tena siku hizi WhatsApp wanawake hasa akina dada wana magroup, hadi migegedo ya saizi mbalimbali wanatumiana) 4. Mdada aliyeenda umri halafu anaishi gheto ( Hawa mara nyingi wamekubuhu, hadi wanaume wakwere wanawakwepa, wadada hawa hujifanya social, wana msururu wa marafiki wa kiume, mara nyingi hit and run kwao ni kawaida) 5. Mdada unayemtongoza siku moja, ya pili au ya tatu ukimwita kwako, anajileta. Kumbuka wewe sio wa kwanza kumtongoza, wewe labda ni wa hamsini.

Baada ya uvumi kuwa staa wa filamu Bongo, Alice Bagenzi ‘Rayuu’ ameachika kwenye ndoa yake ambayo imedumu kwa siku nne tu huku chanzo kikiwa ni familia ya mwanaume, hatimaye mashehe wameamua kuingilia kati kuinusuru ndoa hiyo. Februari 26, mwaka huu, Rayuu alifunga ndoa na mwanaume mwenye asili ya Kiarabu, Ahmedi Said lakini siku ya nne baadaye ulienea ‘ubuyu’ mitandaoni kuwa alitwangwa talaka tatu kwa sababu ya skendo. Kutokana na sekeseke hilo lililoacha historia ya kipekee, mashehe mbalimbali walidaiwa kuingilia kati na kuilaumu familia ya mwanaume huyo kuwa ilienda kinyume na matakwa ya Kiislam. Kwa upande wake, Shehe Mkuu wa Mkoa wa Dar, Alhad Mussa aliliambia gazeti hili kuwa ni jambo la ajabu kufanywa na Waislam kwani katika dini ya Kiislam, sababu iliyoainishwa kwenye talaka hiyo haina uzito wa kumfanya aachike kwa sababu walipaswa kubaini hayo kabla ya ndoa hivyo kuitaka familia hiyo kuweka mambo sawa haraka. Rayuu yeye alisema kuwa alisikitishwa na m...

Walimu wanane wa Shule ya Sekondari Mihama, Kata ya Kitangili, Wilaya ya Ilemela Mkoani Mwanza, wamesimamishwa kazi, watano kati yao wakishikiliwa na polisi kwa tuhuma za kufanya mapenzi na wanafunzi. Pia, Mkuu wa Mkoa wa Mwanza, Magesa Mulongo aliyetembelea shule hiyo jana, amevunja bodi ya shule hiyo baada ya kubainika kutofanya kikao hata kimoja tangu ilipoteuliwa Aprili 24, 2013. Pamoja na Mkuu wa Shule, Joseph Malifedha, walimu wengine waliotiwa mbaroni jana ni Rodrick Uroki, Denis Sanga, Edmund Boaz, Steven Samuel. Walimu watatu waliokuwa wakifundisha shuleni hapo, lakini wakahamishwa na hivi sasa wanasakwa na polisi kwa tuhuma hizo ni Joseph Lamongi na Joeza Mzava waliohamia Sekondari ya Sangabuye pamoja na Abdallah Mtelwe aliyehamia Tanga. Malifedha anadaiwa kuwachangisha fedha wanafunzi wa kidato cha kwanza na cha tatu kwa ajili ya picha za kuweka kwenye vitambulisho (passport size). Akitangaza uamuzi huo, Mulongo alisema tume maa...

24 year old Heather McGillion said she was devastated to discover her partner Adonis Rodriguez , 21, had married another woman while she was giving birth to their son. She discovered the shocking news when a friend sent her a loved-up wedding photo of Adonis and his new wife, a German tourist called Julia. Heather said she met Adonis while were both working as entertainers at a hotel in the Dominican Republic and fell pregnant a year later. She returned home to give birth after experiencing complications, but while she was in labour, Adonis tied the knot with Julia. He later admitted to Heather that he had married Julia and has said he is sorry. She has returned to the Caribbean Island, where her mother lives, so that her son can have a relationship with his father.  H eather, a trained dancer, said: 'When I opened the message it felt like I had been hit by a double-decker bus. Adonis had his arms around a woman and she was wearing a wedding dress. It didn...

Kuna sababu anuai zinazomfanya mwanamke amsaliti mumewe. Ni muhimu kutambua kuwa mwanamke ni kiumbe mwenye hisia kali na daima ahisi raha na amani. Baadhi ya nyakati hufanya usaliti ili kuziba pengo la upungufu unaotokea katika maisha yake. Zifuatazo ni sababu kubwa ambazo zinamfanya amsaliti mumewe: 1. KUTOMPA KIPAUMBELE NA KUTOMTHAMINI Tunatambua kuwa mke anafanya kazi kubwa sana ambayo lau kama ingekuwa ni kampuni basi pangehitajika watu zaidi ya 10 kuzifanya. Atamtunza mume, watoto, nyumba na familia kwa ujumla. Wakati fulani mume anaweza akampuuza na asimthamini, licha ya kujitoa kwa moyo wote kumtunza na kuihudumia familia. Hivyo, kutotoa kipaumble kwa mke ni kosa kubwa ambalo linaweza likamgharimu mume, mke akipata mtu anayempa kipaumbele na kumuonesha thamani hakika hataacha kuitumia hiyo fursa. 2. UKOSEFU WA MAHABA Kwa asili mwanamke ana silika ya hitajio la kupendwa, mwanamke anahitaji kupendwa, mwanaume yeye ana silika ya kupenda ngono, ukimpa ngo...

Ukosefu  na/ama  upungufu  wa  nguvu  za  kiume, ni  tatizo  linalo  wakabili  mamilioni  ya  wanaume  duniani.  Zipo  sababu  nyingi  zinazo  sababisha  tatizo  la  ukosefu  wa  nguvu  za  kiume.   Miongoni  mwa  sababu  hizo  ni  pamoja  na  maradhi  kisukari, presha,shinikizo  la  damu, moyo, figo, matatizo  kwenye  mishipa  ya  ubongo  &  mishipa  ya  uti  wa mgongo, matatizo  kwenye  mishipa itumikayo  kusafrisha damu  mwilini, maradhi  ya  ngiri,  pamoja  na   upigaji  punyeto  kwa  muda  mrefu. Katika  makala  yetu  ya  leo, tutaangalia  namna   suala  la  upigaji  punyeto linavyo  athiri  ngu...

The couple who have been together for about 8 y ears couldn't keep their hands off each other as they attended the 2016 Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Beverly Hills on last night. Justin nuzzled up to his wife, planting a kiss on her cheek as he nestled up close to her. See more photos after the cut...

A 27 year old mother Kristeen Harden is set to face a maximum of 25 years in prison after admitting to police that she groomed and had sex at least once with a 14 year old boy. The young boy was on his way to visit his mother when he was lured by Kristeen into her house to have sex with her. The boy's father reported to police after he noticed illicit messages between the pair on the son's Facebook and whatsapp accounts. Harden told the news station: “There’s a lot I’d like to say, but I would like lawyers and everything.” “They had chatted on Facebook back and forth,” the boy's dad Lt. Johnny Guy told the police. Harden faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted..

They were plagued by break up rumours last week...but they are doing fine and looking fabulous!

Kuna vitu vingi humvutia mtu inapokuja swala la kumchagua mpenzi, siwezi taja sifa zote, kila mtu anasifa zake na vigezo vyake, ila ngoja tuongelee mvuto wa kipekee unaopatikana kwa wanaume wenye vipara. Nikiongelea vipara naongelea wale walio na vipara asili, achilia mbali wale wanaopenda kunyoa vipara japokuwa kuna baadhi ya sifa hapa wanaweza wakawa nazo pia. Muonekano wa kiume: wanaume wenye vipara wengi huwa na muonekana wa kiume zaidi,muonekano nadhifu  sina maana kama wanaume wengine walio na nywele ndefu ama wastani hawana mvuto lah, nauongelea mvuto zaidi ama mvuto wa kipekee. Ujasiri: wanaume wa aina hii wengi huonekana ni wajasiri kwa muonekano wao tu, hii huwafanya kuwa kivutio kwa wanawake. Wana hisia kali za kimapenzi: daktari kutoka Chuo cha Yale Marekani , James B. Hamilton alisema katika utafiti wake wanaume wengi walio na vipara miili yao huwa inazalisha mbegu nyingi za kiume kuliko wanaume wenye nywele, japokuwa si kwa asilimia 100 alisem...

Staa wa muziki Diamond Platnumz amejipanga kuachia wimbo mpya wa kurap uitwao Simba. Akizungumza katika kipindi cha XXL cha Clouds FM Ijumaa hii, Meneja wa msanii huyo, Babu Tale alisema wimbo huo utakuwa sio wa biashara bali ni zawadi kwa mashabiki. “Kama Hip Hop ni biashara Diamond amefanya wimbo wa kurap lakini hatujauchulia kama ile ni biashara, wimbo umeshaisha na unaitwa Simba,” alisema Babu Tale. Diamond kwa sasa anafanya poa na video ya wimbo ‘Make Me Sing’ akiwa na AKA wa Afrika Kusini.

Wapendanao, Jokate Mwegelo ‘Kidoti’ na Ali Kiba ‘King Kiba’, wamedaiwa kuzichapa kavukavu ndani ya gari kisa kikiwa ni ujumbe mfupi wa maneno (SMS), Risasi Jumamosi lina ubuyu kamili. Kwa mujibu wa chanzo chetu, ishu hiyo ilitokea katikati ya wiki iliyopita maeneo ya Kinondoni jijini Dar es Salaam bila kujulikana walikuwa wakitokea wapi kwenda wapi. Jokate na Kiba awali walimwagana lakini hivi karibuni wakarudiana baada ya familia ya Kiba, akiwemo mama yake, kuwakutanisha Februari 5, mwaka huu kwenye Hoteli ya Slipway, Masaki jijini Dar na kumaliza tofauti zao. Siku hiyo ya kupatanishwa kulikuwa na hafla ya uzinduzi wa video ya Kiba iitwayo Lupela ambayo inafanya vizuri katika soko la muziki wa Bongo Fleva nchini. TUJIUNGE NA CHANZO Kwa mujibu wa chanzo makini, Jokate na Kiba walipishana kauli baada ya mrembo huyo anayefanya vyema katika tasnia ya muziki, filamu na mitindo Bongo kulazimisha kusoma ujumbe mfupi wa maneno ulioingia kwenye simu ya mpenzi w...

This man recently lost his job so his friend ask him to go and eat cooked food in his house anytime he want. Instead of just going to his friends house to eat, this man took the opportunity to start a little relationship with his friend’s wife so he now goes to his friends house to eat food and also sleep with his friend’s wife. One day the h...

Mzungu Kichaa Staa wa muziki Mzungu Kichaa, amevunja ukimya kuligusia suala ambalo pengine linawaumiza wasanii wengi, ikionekana kuwa ni 'diss' pia kwa staa Wema Sepetu na mwenzake Idriss Sultan, kupitia suala lao la ujauzito kunasa na kutoka. Akiongea kwa hisia nzito, Mzungu Kichaa ambaye ana project kubwa ya video ambayo watu hawaifahamu kama wanavyofahamu mimba ya Wema, msanii huyo anayejinadi kuwa ni mbishi, ameelezea kusikitishwa kwake kwa mastaa hao ambao wanatumia muda wao mwingi kuleta atensheni kwa mashabiki badala kufanya shughuli zao binafsi za kila siku. Idriss na Wema Sepetu Mzungu Kichaa pia amekanusha suala la video yake kukosa kiki kutokana na kumhusisha Dir Adam Juma ndani yake, na kuifanyia hapa hapa nchini akisema kuwa Dir Adam ana kila sababu ya kupewa hashima yake kutokana na ubora wa kazi zake na si maelezo mengine yaliyopotofu

A South African lady, Ingrid MaPhefo Mashigo who according to her facebook profile is self employed, was proposed to by her girlfriend, Tshepo Maleka and she shared the news with everyone yesterday. She wrote: I SAID YES!! And of course, everyone had their opinion with comments on her page. More photos after the cut...